1/31/2018

One day my  small children and I  went to Mexico son wanted to buy  a necklace as i was paying the man i could see evil until at least he told me how he felt about us. This man was wrong  about us but we all look alike just like Trump sees we are all the same to him. Born here or not born here  to Trump we are all the same . Trump hates how God make me so do others i can even  say even my own  Raza hates me but that's another story anyway back to Mexico. The man told me we were all the same that people like me would go to the live in the  USA  then return acting different and some other things  I don't remember now . At that time i  really didn't  understand what he meant because i wasn't  born in Mexico  later in life when i met people who were born there and now where living here i understood what he meant. Now later in life i hear this Mexican woman who now was mistress living with married man in Crystal City saying these kind of words after she had gone shopping in Mexico. It went something like this, those people in Mexico should just get a job stop asking for money!! And other bad words she said about where she used to live she might have given called them wetbacks.  To me her words  were insults to people they can't do a thing about how their government has them living she should know.   

1/31/2018

Now I want to hear  from my Democratic party from the ones I have  voted for  since  I can remember. I want to hear them say.  We also want to do more for the poor Mexican Americans who were born  here legally here  and are  still straggling to make their lives better!  

1/31/2018

Jimmy Kimmiel after show interviews with people for Trump and a Mexican woman with child and  live in  military Mexican American man was just one example of embarrassment  because if this military man cares for this Mexican woman and their child they should have been married  long time ago . how the song goes, "What are you waiting for?" 

1/30/2018

State of the Union I won't be watching. What for it doesn't apply to me or people closed to me. This is talk for the rich ones the ones who have it all and still want more and who's talking is not saying anything that will better my life. 

1/30/2018

I hear the moon is back in the news. 

1/30/2018

This is a world of= Better you then me.  Tough luck.  You don't have it because you don't believe it. You don't get it because you are not praying the right way. You don't have enough faith.  

1/30/2018

If only  God would  had made me a man I wouldn't be this lonely. I  would  try  and try again until I got what i wanted. I wouldn't  be so needy but no  He made me a woman in a men's world where men are the Strongest  and the hunters  are given more respect. When i knew this wasn't going  away I asked Him to help me think  more like a man but like many other things i have asked Him  this one too He said No. Now I am tired you would be too if you were me. I hear songs you that say  take my carrier take my family take everything. Peter said to Jesus i will go to jail for you I will die for you. Jesus said to Peter, Peter Peter  you don't know what you are saying.  Peter didn't  know what he was saying.       

1/29/2018

Next summer brother told father if this year we are going to the same place we had gone before he was  not going he was  staying in TX . Father told jr no this year where  we are going are other families too.  Oh yes it was just the Fernandez family who got  dropped off on lonely farms. Brother also said the soil was too  hard to work on.  He  just didn't like it and was never  going going back. Father told brother where we are going there other families. now i don't know if it was Mr Lupe Serna or someone else who took family to Montana but now Serna was in the picture and if i am right i remember the first year we arrived here in North Dakota 

1/29/2018

For many poor people like us it was super hard coming up north for the first time. Many families didn't know the way didn't have a vehicle didn't have connections with farmers so families like these would relay on others who were called Contratista = Contractor. The Contratista had farm connections could speak better  English than most Mexicans at that time and most importantly  they had big trucks that could cargo several families get them to farmers who needed strong poor Mexican men  women even children who could and would  work for  bit much  better  pay then in TX. Weather here was  much better too. these trucks i know of were big enough to bring i don't know but maybe 3 or 4 families? Not sure. The truck  trunk   was covered with a brown canvas canopy  tent   to keep the rain wind and sun out.  Big brother told me of the first  year they came to Montana they were dropped in a house that was very  far from town and the Contratista took weeks checking up on them to see how they were doing that father had to walk to the town to get food . Not always the farmer lived near by the migrants. Brother told me about  that summer  in Montana. There was a house like underneath a basement or tornado shelter don't  know but it had furniture covered with white sheets that didn't seen to get dirty. On the front door it read, "this is a haunted  house if you don't believe it you are going to see it."  
       

1/29/2018

We knew niece Laura F. Barajas was pregnant then came the day she had her baby. Big brother asked me , "what do you think Laura named her child? I didn't know what to say he says, "Jacqueline like Jacqueline Kennedy." We knew  only one Jacqueline widowed to president John F. Kennedy then to rich man Onassis. In 2010 I met another Jackie at the ND Job Service who told me for a while  she had doubts about me  passing   C N A and Basis Computer classes which i was taking both at the same time but  to her surprised  I did mastered both considering people around me were blowing my mind.  At that time I didn't know it was  all  God's doing I didn't know what i know now.  I still don't know it all but i know you the people are not capable of setting all things around me to repeat. Too many coincidence. I know many of you are told what to repeat but not all comes from you. This past weekend  by email I met another Jacqueline.        

1/28/2018

If i had time didn't had work  do  things and didn't have to sleep  I could write all day and all night. How  the name Jacqueline comes in my blogger.  later about this and about what daughter remembered  me i  had forgotten about Michael Dakakis and Bush what   TV commercial  strategies Bush used to win the presidential election.      

1/26/2018

If that would  be the case the USA would not be what it is right now. 

1/26/2018

Now i know that is a judging God  I know He exist i know if i do wrong i will get it hard but i don't think  if its good or bad we do we all get what we deserved.     

1/26/2018

I don't believe 100% on the women's march because I don't  think or believe I know if in  workforce  are all white Angle women not has qualified as I with  no high qualification  I hold I am still accepted to work under than work more for less. Be  treated badly  and if i say something right there i am kick out this is not an opinion this is a fact. and this and all others has nothing to do with sins done wrong if it was all i had to do was cut down on sins repent not do it again but i know its not this is the way some things are just set up.      

1/25/2018

When my father went to Mexico he went alone mother was too afraid to take a risk at the border . So  it wasn't until I met Rosa  and her parents that's when met Black Rocks.  at that time people were OK it was OK to as time went by and i also  went with sister or brother or when brother was asked to take Petra her sister and mother shopping and we would cross  the border for  mangos, candies    

1/25/2918

I don't know why the Republicans are so afraid of DACA i can guarantee that many of these people once good to vote they will vote Republican party. Mexican people changed  a lot from the time i was a child to when i would take my children  to Mexico later  i will defend my case.  

1/24/2018

Now back to Montana Gloria and her sister told me about the two beheaded girls the way they described   them make me believe they were twins. the time my family went to work in Montana i don't think i was yet born this might have been the first years coming up north before that  father  worked with the city sanitation trucks. Big brother told me that the year when they came to Montana they rode in back of a trunk with other family and just were dropped off in a lonely long way from the nearest town that my father had  to walk far away into t         

1/24/2018

I was so disappointed to see that Selina Q Perez  was not mentioned in the film Latinos in America. Her death  opened the doors to many Latino voices make Jennifer Lopez J.LO.  Now Jose Angel ready to talk about what San Antonio Henry B. Gonzalez did or didn't do  but what happened to you in Crystal City? You disappeared? I remember on TV in a restaurant Henry was asked something like this why did you  hit another man he said because he was called a communist.  What a  sensitive  man Henry was i am sure I been called worse things then that. The January 2001 Texas monthly writer says Gonzalez was regarded as only sightly less powerful than God and just as easy to offend. Wow powerful words!! This writer sure feared Gonzalez I only fear God because He says don't fear who can kill your body but fear who can kill your body and your soul. Now what repeats the name  Gonzalez and Gonzalez was the first Mexican American TX Senate in 1956.     

1/24/2018

I don't know how God expects for me to make it in this wicked world He gives me no help no matter how when or what time which way  I asked Him . He keeps me lonely with no where to go for questions or discussed why around me all things  repeats. Why you the people are evil towards me. I don't know how He expects me to have even the basics in life to get by because wherever i go i am treated worse then a criminal. I know His never showed me favorite  but now His given me  more that I can't  handle.  i cant stay in a job because i am told to show up then to go home i am not needed . in the job if i am hired i am the only one who gets paid less and anything i do is good enough and i am expected  to do more work than others that's plus the mind games that go on  
    

1/24/2018

Franklin Graham,  on CNN  is this how your father Billy raised you up? You say it was 11 years ago when Melania couldn't have sex with trump  because she had given birth  so Trump had a lot of sex with Porn Stormy  in all  referent ways but that is OK   because it was long ago but then why did Trump lawyer had  to give  Stormy money to keep her quiet? Now you say Trump has change? The money went to her in 2016!!!  That wasn't to long ago!! why did Trump had to pay when it was long ago and it was a lie and he has changed? Once we the people get too old we really don't change some do when they are dying but most go as they are with the same mentally and same heart. Now i know why you love Trump because he didn't like Muslims and he doesn't like people like me who  are known for doing the  hardest work for very little pay and getting nowhere in life having nothing to show for not even with in education. Now you and him like others like it that way i understand you always want to be on top who doesn't  !!!               

1/23/2018

on August 18,2017 red car wouldn't start  i left it at a gas station on 45 st south and Amber. as i was waiting  for the bus  came a Mexican he too was waiting. we started talking about home in TX he said he was from Corpus Christi but had relatives  in Crystal City. I told him I didn't know Galveston but Corpus I knew from  long time  ago  on a summer  trip.  Bus came then we were on the bus  it was a longest drive i had ever had  twice we went  by Sanford hospital. i kind of liked  it because since the Train  concert  i hadn't seen the finish until that day. i asked him Ramirez  if he knew what Corpus Christi meant he said he did . He asked me what  was I doing so far away from home. i told him  it was a long story it had to do with many   things around me repeated. I gave him a few examples and as i am telling him about the first thing i saw in Corpus when we were getting closer to the sea  were white sea birds and guess what? There were dark muddy  fields covered with white birds to me they looked like the sea birds at Corpus Christi. As we  drove by the birds were flying away  it was a beautiful sight to see.            

1/121/2018

next about Montana  state scary stories i heard from  big brother and from  the Valdez sisters. when i saw the  movie Shining  twin girls i remembered the story the Valdez girls told me about them seeing two girls with no heads in the farm they used to migrant to in Montana . next  Brother   

1/21/18

 Not sure what year but it might have been in the nineties a white poor  woman and her family  made their home  in  Crystal City. She so much liked the Hippie days that she named one of her daughters Stormy  another  one  Brandy. I knew Brandy  a bit more i used to cut her hair.  She and daughter  worked at the Oasis restaurant.  Not sure but i think they still live  in  Crystal City. 

1/20/18

 What repeats? Trump and  Stormy.  When surgery went bad got infected I went back to the Dr. told him surgery looked Stormy because it looked like a purple red  rainy cloud ready to explode   . He said not to worry just clean it up  no need to come through the Emergency.

1/20/2018

 We know it was meant to be because then came  Jesse, David then Jesus  but  back to Ruth.  Surely  Boaz noticed her  was interested in her  asked  around who she was. Liked her because she did not abandoned her mother in law who was (i think even from different beliefs) and was closer to his own  age. But still Ruth and Naomi were disparate for a man but not  just any man it had to have what these two women didn't have, money. The old man Boaz tells Ruth, you could have had a younger man sure but would a younger man  be able to proved for these two women ? I don't think so but then I don't know I wasn't there. The thing is Ruth had to go where he was  sleeping on the ground uncovered his feet  show him she wanted to start something. Some even say she had to proposed to him.  I don't know about these days but back then in my old neighborhood this was called Ofrecida = Offered  .  I  know  with my luck  simply if i gave my phone numbers to a man  thought might  be interested in me he would tell others then  accused me of stalking him  used the phone numbers as evidence then i too  will wind up in jail.      

1/1912018

This is why we have courts  to remember and remind others, right ? 

1/19/2018

Right now there is a black  man at the FM bridge with a sign  "Jesus Forgives" but most of us don't forgive or  forget.

1/18/2018

this is where i disagree with someone close to me about whoever wrote about the White Young USA Nazis not having a woman or women. I disagree because if you are a man i don't care what color you  are you  can get a woman  if you look for one if you are lonely its because you want to be lonely.   

1/18/2018

1/18/2018

If this problem is not solved now  in 30 more years the government will have 700,000 more illegal immigration knocking on the USA government door.  Now your president shouldn't cut funds Chips and other programs for low income people.  

1/17/2018

Now i don't agree with what your president wants to do built a wall but i do agree people born here should have a voice first. government should worry about his people first 

1/17/2018

 Here are  some  of things i don't understand about the USA government. Back when daughter was attending collage through  a program  for  low income students in Uvalde, TX there was a student from Mexico  her father practiced  law in Mexico. I think this seat should have been used by someone born here with financial needs.

In Eagle Pass, TX were or  still is  several white transportation vans who took young people to attend schools or work in San Antonio . Now what i understood these  people were from Piedras Negras. I guess if i had it very good  here in the USA like most  of you it wouldn't  bothered  me but because i am yet to see any progress it does. 
      

1/17/2018

Now i wrote i been to the India Palace here in Fargo in Crystal City  there is a Diana Palacios = palaces. When i new i had  to come back to the  North there was a woman  I talked with at the El  Nino Store who knew me more that  i knew her  gave me  support  encouragement to come back.   She told me I would find  my way, find shelter her name was Rosa Palacio = Palace.      

1/16/2018

I do  think i look more like my mother but she was much better looking then me so are all my sisters.  

1/16/2018

What i understood i read  was that  Jesse G. was asking Dallas Correctional  lawyers for $50, 000. Years ago  in crystal city I  went by   Tony Perez  store to buy a record-player needle. Months after  I took  him a picture of my mother  to enlarge tony told me he thought it was me on the picture.     

1/14/2017

 Viola at the time i understood  was living in San Antonio and the conversation  between  child's aunt Mary and mother Viola  was about trying to get child support  for his daughter. As i looked to the child I knew she was worried  sad about her being the center of attention. I don't know if Gamez ever paid any child support i hope he did but maybe he didn't like Raul Munoz. Now I am thinking this was before Diana  Palacios was in the picture. Diana had a brother right now  don't remember his name but Raul and him were  friends. Palacios  had a gas station in the corner of what is now Crockett and Veterans Ave.  What else repeats ?Palacios nickname was Pelon = Bald . Palacios  =  Palaces. i don't know too much about Gamez only what i read on newspapers  about the Crystal City  Detention lawyers could have been read on  CCT Sentinel or San Antonio light or the Express News  said something about asking lawyers to paid him Gamez $50.000 under the table and he would quiet the employees.       

1/13/2018

 Back to Crystal City if i am right  the Barbers Shop was one block going east then trued right  from where later years would be our second home on  West Crockett St. One day Belia. J went by my home asked me to go with her to her two friends  she knew more then i did.  One was Mary the other was Viola. Viola had a little girl I remembered looking at her  as she played with other children. To me she looked so much like her grandfather I am more then sure the Barber  judge was her grandfather. Now where was Maury Povich ? Yes, where was Maury who's second wife is Connie Chang? One politician day way before 2004 my big bother Luis was telling me he had seen in town   one of his school  friend who had gotten educated  and now was a lawyer that was  Jesus = Jesse  Gamez. brother told me Jesse wanted brother to joined him  he would  later place in a job. Back to 2006- 2009 time  I went home  I realized nobody liked me and i don't care about the nobody liking me i can live with that it's the stalking the other mind games people play. Way before coming to ND  a black newer car would passed by my home very slowly with the highlights on i know it was Jesse Gamez  and others were in it.  He was one of the  lawyers going against the Ford company   so he was just doing his part.         

1/13/2018

Today is my third grandson's birthday! Hurrah,  hurray  his 12th years old !!!  

The south is still blaming the north the north still blames the south . In my home when something went wrong or a person was not all there or the north winds were coming we were told to  covered  our heads because the north cold winds were coming  we could get sick. We used to say. You are all Norteado. Here I hear  Gone South when something goes wrong . Today I was late to my second grandson's basketball game. Is there any hope for the South? Does size really matters? Oh, well its just a game its fun to watched.  Oh, yeah the north was playing with the south. 

1/12/2018

 Long time ago at a  migrant school I  remembered singing this song " Its A Small World After All" It's so true now even more with the technology we have now. Now yesterday i wrote about a barber who later became a judge.

1/11/2018

 Sandra was right he did dismissed it all i had to do was listened  about him and the good old days with my father and  uncles

1/11/2018

Now sometimes when I was a  child and we used to live on  West Chambers St my  father would take me with him to a Barber Shop where a friend of his  and friend to my Fernandez  uncles used to cut my father's hair.  One  day the talk was about who looks like who. I asked the barber who i looked like. the Barber came down to my size told me i looked like my father. I don't know why but I really didn't believed him. If i am right it is the same man i meet later  by now  I am all  grown  up that man is older but now he is a judge. These are the years i met Sandra   started  hanging around with her and i get traffic  ticket.  I  tell Sandra  about the ticket she says, "don't worry he will dismissed it."       

1/11/2018

Now it took me more years ahead to released I was just receiving some of the bad treatment my mother had received. And  i understood but others see and this is how others learned to also abused. Now maybe they too had some but i don't think it was as bad as me because i was the youngest. But i loved my mother she  helped me with my children and I  took care of her. There were many many good times I  with her my favorite were when we celebrated her birthdays.         

1/11/2018

I, Tonya, with a hair brush? Try a rolling pin and much younger just for asking, who are you talking to?

1/11/2018

I hear Moorhead Sam's is closing ? Maybe not enough traffic? Maybe too out there in the freeway? Maybe  I just needed to be there meet certain people? I needed to be there to write about my pass ? I don't know.    

1/9/2018

A lot about the number 6. on the story about Ruth Boaz gives her 6 measures of gain Barley                Bison = National 6 . Today i was in Moorhead courtroom 1 . Jury  3 white  women 3 white men =6. i looked up there were 6  round light fixtures. i was waiting in the lobby on the  ceiling there were another 6 light fixtures.     

1/7/2018

Now you will find this  true story on Judges on  the Bible about Naomi Ruth and Orpah the one who went back home didn't stay with her mother in law.   

1/7/2018

Now going back to the  Bible story of three women with no men because they were killed. what i understand Orpah and Ruth were sisters back then men could do this to advanced the population multiply . Now what i read that it was a love story it was Love at first sight these are men saying it  because i see it different ! Now Orpah went back home but  Ruth stayed with their  old mother in law. they went to Naomi hometown where there was an old man with lots of money and land  relative to  old Naomi named Boaz . Now at first Ruth needed to work so she went to work for old Boaz now Boaz of course noticed the younger woman Ruth but still Naomi knowing her Raze ways to catch a man told Ruth to go to his bed and do curtain things now Ruth had to asked old man Boaz to marred her but it was the idea of Naomi because she knew there would be something for her too. so for me it was all about survival. Sure sex was included women  not only need security and they did and because of that Naomi became a grandmother don't know too much but i hear this is Jesus family tree. but it wasn't head over heels for Ruth not really like now women just need men.                   

1/6/2018

Now back to Victoria who was left alone to take care of the children when she herself was a child. What repeats if Delta was also her name then it repeats Delta is the dental insurance i used here in Minnesota. i am sure that if i look more deeper i will find more repeating. Now Big foot also repeats. One day my father took me with him to an office where there was a  white big woman who used to fixed his W2 forms. I asked my father why is she called big foot he told me just don't say a word but when we are in her office look down under her  desk  look at her feet.   

1/6/2018

Today January 6, 2018 is a second  opportunity to give gifts to people you want to because its Three kings Day or can . It is very much celebrated in Mexico and here in the USA. One of the foods is a sweet bread that is eaten on this day. Now  even  children born on this day are named Reynaldo or Reynalda if its a girl. Rey Salines and Rey Perez  must  have had a birthday on  this day  not sure  but I bit they did or R. Perez is having if his still alive somewhere in TX . Now  there was a song just today i told my daughter about  she said, "haven't heard it". The named Reynalda sure she hasn't it was way before her time but its about the mine shirt in the 60s and 70s. Women and girls we used to wear. The song is "La Minefalda De Reynalda" by Johnny and Los Jets.   

1/4/2018

Tonight i just found out Dr. G is my age ! Was born same month  same year and my daughters day the 14 !. and just now i know i might have seen her somewhere in a San Antonio hospital. Two day ago i told my daughter i have heard her voice  seen her face somewhere now i know i just might have but don't remember where it had to be in San Antonio and she was born in Missouri just last night i wrote about Missouri! Wow! And Wow! But by now i shouldn't be surprised this happens to me all the time.
Now yesterday i was watching on Dr. G about the 12 year old girl who was found guilty of killing two other smaller children and again i was mad!!  i got mad back then i was mad again! This is way nobody nobody!! Question where were the Big with gray hair all over The  Adults in the dirty house!!!!?? When this happened! Victoria was herself a child! Where was the mother of the baby!! who needed Milk from her breast or from a bottle!! This was child  abused  to Victoria and to the  other  smaller children!!             

1/3/2018

today while driving from Fargo to Moorhead i was thinking why i couldn't memories my  new phone number then in front of me a car plate  with these numbers  979 same as my middle new phone numbers.  some time ago i told my daughter somewhere before i had seen Dr. G more to come    

1/3/2018

Today i looked for Crystal City, TX Sacred Heart Catholic church. I found  Crystal  City, Mo Sacred Heart Catholic church on 555 Bailey Rd in  Crystal City, Missouri. What else repeats ? On our way here up and down north and south we used to go by Kansas City, Kansas and Kansas City Missouri.    

1/2/2018

 Back in the seventies when  I  worked  for a while at the mall in the Valley in TX  some of the things they  had in the store were dancing shoes. Here in Fargo  same street where St Marys Church is  Gasper School of Dance &Performing Arts. Gasper that is name of a third cousin on my mother's side married to Velma Juarez Montemayor. now her grandparents were Mr and Mrs Juan Juarez were known  to be very good dancers in Crystal City.     

1/2/2018

Today January 2,2018  If I haven't said it  Happy New Year!! Now  because the way this devise or blogger is  set up now I can't  go back erase some of my misspelling  and bad  grammar. Not that before or now  I have time to do such thing but at least the other way i could pick up where i left off  not anymore so now my writing is even more messy. I  don't even know if what I write now you are reading. But its not my fault I don't blame myself.  almost everything i write in a way repeats but also connects. About the  family from the old  neighborhood in Crystal  I got to see during the time i was working at Sam's I really don't know if husband ever took his young bride back to see her mother all i knew he was past due according to what i saw and heard as a child. Their  father i heard in his funeral had been Godfather to Eddie and Elvira also mentioned to someone in her family but i didn't clearly hear to who. I am  for sure the couple most  have had  many Godchildren since they were very devoted to the church.