12/26/2018

December 26,2018 if in a day all i did was write about how things repeat around me i think i still didn't have enough  time to catch up. Did i hear right 41 President Bush shook hands with a mannequin in a department store? well  in Crystal City because there was not  much selection on the   last years of J C  Penny i left a mannequin nude. I asked a sales lady to take off the blouse and shirt mannequin had for  on display. It was the only dress i saw worth buying lady did take it off and up to this day  i  still remember the pattern colors of that outfit.  When  Marta Mc Hazlett moved out from west Crockett she rented a house.  Later years when i became a  parent and back from Colorado through section 8 my family  and i rented that same house that belonged to Balderas i never liked living there bad landlords.   

12/17/2018

today December 17,2018 as i see the picture of little girl Jackeline Caal not help to noticed her sadness in her eyes. this little girl might have been in so much pressure trauma walking running getting here but she did not came alone like so many children they get here with one parent or both parents. back then i used to hear men came alone now i see   pregnant  women, women with children come because there is more sympathy when other people see a child. this is what many people do even here in the USA put their children in front so other people will listen they need or want help.  

December 16, 2018 today as i was told something about Max Lucado then i listened to him on his recording his story about being thankful he talks about Joshua . just days go i wrote to someone named Joshua.             what is send feedback ?

 Today 12/10/2018  what i disagreed with  the story of an India his name is Hassan Minhaj who wouldn't  forgive his white  friend  prom night who stood him up.


Now i have a lot to say about this and i will just as the story about the night we were watching   Rickey nelson  TV but no time  

 December 16, 2018 Now women and even some  men in India even here bleached their skin to look lighter not happy with the color God gave to them so this is what they do buy creams to light up their skin. marriages are fixed up now if i love someone who is rich coming from generations but i am the first one to be better oof by being a doctor but my grandmother was a   poor housekeeper most lightly his parents will say no to him he can not marry me because i don't come from generations of  wealth. this is how much it matter in the land of India in their culture. more to come .   

Today December 8, 2018 on TV i had seen Dangerous minds but not like the present where everything repeats but i needed a laughed as the male teacher corrects Michelle Pfeiffer that  Bob Dyan is from Minnesota  then she says  Bob Dyan is dead from alcohol or something like that  as they discuss poetry. 

  How does Rick Scott + Bill Nelson  = Ricky Nelson.  A  summer night  in  the  60s + Ed Sullivan Show  repeats  laughed ?       

     Growing up I knew Sylvia and Ophelia  i thought Ophelia was a very Mexican name oh how  was I wrong.  Hamlet = Ophelia= Greek.  

8/5/2018

Today December 5, 2018 a sad day for the Nation as we buried our dear former president George H. W. Bush. May he rest in peace. Last night I couldn't so I listened to Rocio Durcal and other  great females singers. later i went to sleep dreamed I saw Susan Longwell very nice goodhearted person i met when i was in Colorado. I saw her and  she saw me we came  close and we hugged but i don't think we said a word to each other. She was wearing a light blue dress  short  white sleeves and was smiling at me as she used to. other people were with her.  


 Today 12/ 14/ 2018  read outside Fargo's Public Library Fahrenheit 33 time 4:44 pm.  I started listening to Rocio because Rosa L had her music on most of the time i would ride with her in her car. Rosa once told me Guzman liked Rocio music.   Me Gustas Mucho  was  the song I imaged  Rocio  wearing a petticoat under her skirt and moving side to side  while flirting. Just days ago i saw one video of Rocio singing that song and her face did  looked as if she's  flirting with her face.  When i would tell that to Rosa she would burst out laughing. Now i didn't know Rocio cut hair before acting then singing i might have seen her at the  movies i just don't remembered.  Mi mas triste recuerdo de  Acapulco. Now i never been to Acapulco I heard someone related to Rosa did  go to A

November 28,2018

I am sure certain people got this Caravan started but these people also saw if Syrians Africans Iranians  India and many others got here and were given why not they. Now do we really want people just coming  in doing as they please and demanding?  

11/23/2018

Today November 23, 2018 now because of what i wrote about Walmart this song they played inside the store Canta No llors  and i was harassed by all people around me but its not just there its everywhere i go. It started in my home its now with you the bad bad people is who you are is who you. Canta No llores ? Sing Don't Cry? On the Contrary I got mad so mad i got  that i complaint to God about how Asian and Bosnian's  Muslims are told how to bullied me how to give me a hard time.  Now the Bible says it will be a Nation of many tongues that will be crashed and we can see it here in Fargo ND in Moorhead MN .  you don't have to believe  in Christ it still developing what is written in Christ good  news. Now later i will write how i am screamed at  belittled  blamed for all that is not done right.  Now when i was outside Fargo Post office i did wrote down it was about you me and the rest of the world and it is so God put this on my mind to do later  you will read  about it.   Today 11/26/2018 if this Asian lookalike Yoko Ono  who has a worst accent than mine thinks because her husband works at Sam's club in Fargo and is a support manager at Dilworth   has the right to blame me and embarrassed  me in front of customers by yelling from far way aisles when its not me overstocking putting merchandise on wrong shelves  its the other foreigners like her and she thinks I am not going to write about it she is wrong! I have no one backing me up. I have no Legal Aid helping me they help the refuges the illegal immigrants so i have to defend myself with the pen like someone told me long time ago.
Now about the border crossing them yes it did but then if these states were still Mexico what then? In the Syria I saw a video where a Muslim mother was pushing her child daughter to the reporter twelling him " take her Take her" yeah right giving her problem away then she could sue.     

Today 11, 2018 as i was listening to what hypocrite= liar Mexican from Mexico who double- dips to both countries but only cares about himself   Gorge Ramos who should stay in Mexico and help his Caravan people by not just blowing air through his mouth and nose but by providing shelters jobs and other things these people say they are running from poverty which they want the USA to care for them when they don't appreciate what Mexico is doing for them they want more. These people have seen that the USA has helped people with money and without money fro the Middle East and other counties so now they want so too but I am poor I worked on the fields like my parents and grandparents and what do I have! Jack!! Nothing!! I took  part of building what is  the USA is now but got nothing in returned. Now people from other counties come red carpet is on their feet and they want more. How nice if  that was Me or My children. Mexico can and should help these people another these people did not walked it!! No way later i will tell you one time others and i had to walk miles from Carrizo springs  to Crystal i almost got home with no shoes!

Now 11/ 20/ 2018 My grandparents worked this land my parents worked this land they were poor they were tired they died poor  with very little or no health  care here in the USA. I am poor I am tired i am homeless.  If the USA is so rich why am I so poor? I don't mind  other people coming in take all the children from other counties the US  government wants to adopt  I just want life to get better for the ones who been here  all their life's when is that going to happened ? Days ago i saw a refugee who is here because of war but she like many others is going on vacation back to her home land dropped her job because she wanted 4 mouths Walmart or motel would only give her 3 months. What a nice life i know she will came back and if she wants work will get it but not me at work i must do as much as i can always look busy because those work places don't get a dime from the government if they hired me i am replaceable.   Today 11/26/2018 i have much more later on                    

Today November 14, 2018 how 44 is repeated but i am not done with the Pats sometime ago i went by  623 northern pacific ave on top of twin windows was Patrick Flats so later i will go back to the pats that had to do why i moved to the Valley in 1975 but not really.   Now beck to  44 today i went to eat at Arbys in Moorhead, MN  at 1:20 pm going home but instead i went left  weather sign was 44. now lets go back to November 1, 2018 i went to pay at Dakota boys and girls on 1001 4th Ave north came out to $44.00 dollars even. This Sunday  November 11 i didn't had to work but i worked the day was too tired to noticed the 44 days till Christmas  at Dilworth Walmart store but somehow  because of  someone else i had to go back later that night and i noticed .  last night       

11/1/2018

Today so much on my mind but very little time . Now i been thinking how and why did people from Middle East learned English and who's idea was to teach them? I know Africa  and India were  colonized  by the British  like we were in Mexico by Span  this is where we get Spanish from  but people from other counties also being learning English better than me. this reminds me of what Jose Angle Gutierrez said after he and other i heard went to Cuba with city money when he went back said Fidel people  were getting better education than us in Crystal City TX USA . well i heard something like that but how do u get a county poor? what Strategy were other counties using to get people here?          
   I know its in the bible

Today October 29, 2018 If you want to hear about a horrible story  just listen to this one in Fargo North Dakota. Its about the Horrible  Torturing death of  Savanna  and about the horrible way her baby came into this world.  The injustice  done in court today  to her and her barely born baby girl  her family and friends who loved her  the most.    

 Torture = severe pain for the pleasure of the person  or persons inflecting =  William  and  Brook also  = Prejudice Hateful Jealous  people? 

Now let me tell you how the Devil is inside even the men who called themselves  Godly and preach the word on Sundays inside  churches, but what word is that  is that from God or the Devil ? .   I read a whole bunch of lies coming out of the mouth of killer who got away with killing  Savanna = William  Hoehn.    Yesterday I took a 5pm lunch break and heard this now was this  a coincidence?  I don't know but i  go to car  turned  radio on  I hear about why Amen listened to Eva and took a bite of the forbidden fruit peachier  said because he loved her. In court William the killer said he helped Brooke cover up the death of Savanna because he loved Brook. I say Bullshit!  I know William was the reason  why Brook was so jealous and angry with hate because Savanna was young and beautiful and never  took the time to  look at this old ugly man who i know had been looking at her for a long time and wanted her one way or the other. Brook  knew it and was jealous at  her because even if she was pregnant she still  looked desirable but because of her innocence she didn't know what they were up to and this brought her to her death. Bullshit about wanting a family  because between  both  of them they had an Army  of kids they were not taking care of!! . Now about cuts I cut myself  once with a pair of s            

10/23/2018

October 23, 2018 This is one of the ways i see why  people from south counties are coming to the United State faster  and more and more then ever  will keep  coming!! They see and hear Many Meddle East refugees  African refugees  and Russia and  other white skin  counties  coming in  here as refugees  or seeking Asylum and  were given goods and many are still receiving  goods even if they don't need them because many they of them have properties in the continues they come and go as they please.   (later i will write more on this).    My grandparents worked hard for what they had before Urban Renewal demolish our homes with a bulldozer forcing families out of their humble poor  homes that they had had  worked hard very hard on fields and factories. Me  and even my  children have worked in the fields had  helped the farmers of this land become what is now  and yet my children and I are renting living in places  that reminds me of the the halls we used to live in one family room next to another  family room like (cows) when my parents and many other born here in the USA where in Ohio working in a field or a factory. Nobody wants to do for the ones born here!! I only hear the Demarcates wanting to help people from other counties. I hear  Republicans telling me  I am from Mexico  and I  should go back that males in my family are rapist and criminals and this is not true but i did hear Trump first wife said Trump rape her in bed!! So what party is doing for me and my children?! No Party!!   I go to get food stamps i better not be working or i will get nothing! i see people from other counties cool as a cucumber very happy and young with one child and  able to work  but asking for food stamps when i can see they can work but don't have a need to because most lightly they got money  to pay their bills and just asked for food stamps to have more while I  born and raised here if i am making 9 dollars and 65 cents in hour will not get food stamps because i am making too much !!  These  people I know just came from other counties they have it made! ! I don't I have only student loans!! What would i have given if when i went back to TX the government would have given me 7 months of free  money  like a refugee I didn't had to pay back I would  have opened  up my own Beauty Shop and wouldn't be so poor like I am now!!

Now I want free health care but i also want  all borders control I want USA  people first all USA people first  not only the White Anglo's!!!   I am against free collage later i will explain why  I am against  it.

Now I just learned more about refugees  from this person named  Kim Crockett  says they get $107, 00 + health care like medicare  English listens and other goodies(   I, Marta every time when  I go to Family Health Care with  Elizabeth doctors assistant reminds me my insurance can only pay for this or that) . I go home where I rent thinking  about it.  WOW where's  my money for moving  here from a very poor town named Crystal City, TX !!! ?? Now when i worked at the Candlewood suites in north Fargo was an African woman she said her husband had gone to visited people in  Africa that she was going to stop working and she had children. i asked her how are you going to pay your bills she said they were already paid 6 months ahead of time. she said  she had her own home in Green Village. One day I went by Green Village not bad at all for a refugees from African!! I only went by to check the houses out because i know nobody who lives there. Now if shes not working husband is on long vacation because she said they came from Africa  with money where to get more  money for food!!?? I am sure she went to asked for  food stamps because she's got children happily she was given a lot. Now i can't afford a bus ticket to TX i haven't been able since 2010. Joyful  are the ones who received so much from this USA they think its a rich country for me its a very  very poor because i am poor.


Now when i was working at the Holiday i talked with a Muslim woman who lost her baby but before that she said she was going to visited her relatives wheresoever in the Middle East. i asked her how much $  because i had no money for a bus ticket she told me something like close to 1,000 or more don;t remember the amount  but its a lot. Sympathy!? Who feels it for me !!?? Nobody!! Now at   Drayton foods in north Fargo was another Muslin this woman said she was going to look for another job where she would get paid more money because it wasn't enough and it was too work                    

10/22/2018

October 22, 2017 I remembered my uncles asking, "why do we have to pay so much school and collage taxes if we don't even have children." The problem with people from other poorer countries will never end not anymore with so much knowledge with the phones that were invented to see how the others live in the USA or other places. everybody wants to come here for some reason or another not all come because they want to work not all come because they are poor not all come because whatever other reason . Many  want to come  because its a better live   

10/19/2018

October 19, 2018 My opinions:  Even if I know most who run for any type of government office don't care  much about others and now I live in  the state of Minnesota I want  to see  Indigenous people  Chicano's  and Chicana's  running for office.  More of us should be more on the ballets.

10/17/2018

October 17, 2018 Is Ex wife to Keith  Ellison  Kim Ellison and Karen Monahan the same person ? If they are not most lightly wife is not saying the truth not reporting  to the law doesn't mean it never  happened.  I understand that  girlfriend  Karen Monahan  says "Dragging her from a bed sounds like  what  of Raul C. Munoz did to me more then once and I never  reported  it to the law at least not in TX .  If you want to read more on what i write please go back to older posts.   Have i seen men being abused by women?  Yes once in junior high  some  girls and i were  (Running The Deer) that means skipping classes when one of the girls who i didn't know  started  hitting a young man with her fist the guy just ran away  from her but she ran after him and hit him hard as hard as she could again and again until he got in a car and got away from her.  Now Angel and his wife got married  at Connie's Reader's Digest and brother Angel on his wedding day. 



Now this morning at 4:44am  my eyes opened then  its 4:45 a m.  I am awaken  from a dream I was having. I was dreaming about Petra Rodriquez now its around 7:49 am and i am driving pass the downtown  Fargo library coming in from Moorhead  when there is a  long yellow  school his  number is  45.             

10/11/2018

Today October 11, 2018  I wish i wasn't always in a hurry because I do a lot of misspellings and I don't write down all I need to write but today as i was at McDonald in Moorhead because now  I am  older and its cold up here I sometimes drink coffee like parents and  big brothers used to drink and as I am reading the newspaper  waiting on coffee that's taking  too long so I read about Betty Lavomme Grissom dead  at age 91. In 1967 she sued Apollo NASA   contractor because of her astronaut  husband Virgil Grissom death  on his way back from space. Now its been 50 years of Apllo 11 and  I was 11 years old and  it reads 9 months later astronauts Armstrong and others  landed on the moon. Before all these I was  already having scary feelings that time was going by too fast. astronaut Grissom height was 5' 5" Grissom was married  to Betty in 1945 until his death in 1967. now a lot repeats but i must go do other things.  Now  the word Armstrong, growing up I used to watched  Erica on All My Children I always wondered  who's children was it the older lady who played the rich  grandmother?  now sometimes i wonder if it was meant for me because now its all about my children. Now if i am right there was a n actress daughter of Armstrong i really like to watched her act but i did't know she was an Armstrong daughter until years after.                 


The Red Ball was here yesterday or the day before at the Museum on Main Ave I only got to see it as I was driving by maybe next year I get to take a picture with it and tough it. Red Ball  took me back  to the 1966 song  Red Rubber ball.  Now this year i will be voting a bit democratic a bit Republican because i don't agree 100 % on one side.   Oh God! If I go back and check my writing, forget it!! Now like always short on time but later I will post a picture of my mother she was tough and poor  and you Crimar or Cremar whatever  can't top it off my mother was tough but this  has nothing to do with women being abused by men and mother never was. 

10/10/2018

Today October 10, 2018 i was reminded on the past i had a lot of times i had been called Maria just to missed up my mind get me mad as i was walking to my car that was parked at Walmart in Dilworth MN a Native man calls me Maria i told him if you don't want me to call you something dirty don't call me Maria. People  I know they know my name and still called me Maria so I started calling them dirty names to  see if they liked  being something else  because I  know they were doing it on purpose. Now what Hurricane hit Puerto Rico ? Maria. Now  in 2005 when I went to see my son in Grand Fork  he told me to  go see Fr Bob at the  St Michael's  red brick church what is the name of the Florida Hurricane? Micheal.

Now when daughter was in collage in Uvalde many students from Mexico were getting money from  USA programs and these students came with  money but still they qualified because they were consider migrants are something else. This is not right! These students parents uncles aunts cousins had not paid any kind of taxes here in the USA! Now about the MN Millionaire yes i agree with him now that i got to read why he did what he did applied  for food stamps      

10/9/2018

Today October 9, 2018  Now before I write down what is on my mind let me tell you nobody pays me asked me told me what to do or what to write. If any of you want  answers go to God unless you are helping  me in the situation I am in . Now i had mentioned  that back in the 70s  big bother found it funny and mentioned it several times when Pilo Rivera who was chosen on Christmas  celebration day at a GED program class gave  Anita Sanchez an  earth Globe for  a present.  What is at rick? Globe warming and it don't matter if Cramer and Trump  and others don't believe it  anyway its happening! Now I don't know too much or nothing at all about Kevin Cramer. Only  heard bad things about him.  But!!! "I would like to get  to know you yes I would. I would like to  get to know you if i could." Now  this is what  so far I learned  about him  his insensitive towards sexuality abused  women. He says the Victims should  not complained  cry and remember what abused men have done to  them they should  be tough  like his great grandmother  mother and daughters. I can and will write what i know happened to two girls who were sexually abused  when we were  little because they were not Tough!!!??  Is this how  you think Cramer!!??  The sexual abused was happening  behind me  while I was watching bewitched and was told not to looked back!! This has been on my mind for a long time the house of the abuser  was so nice as a child before i came to know the abuser i would look to their back yard facing   Chambers  street  which was covered with all different colorful  kinds of flowers. I remembered mother and i waking with his wife in their  garden path  Later in life  I would know they were Godparents to my  sister Maria . Bad things like these don't go way even if they didn't happen to you personally and to say you were not tough!!?? Now once i kind of knew what was going on I never went inside that house but i also didn't tell nobody and i never asked the victims about it . I was a child just continue with my growing up learning for myself out in the world were abused men and not kind like my father. Now i always wondered why Luis Jr  was the way he was , was he spoil got advantage of our Dad or just plain mean. I know father was always  with us hard working at hard jobs caring loving with mother.  

North Dakota needs a balance and i know Heidi Heitkamp is your  balance if you moved her out eventually farmers are also  going to cry. Now because she voted against Kavanaugh who wouldn't ? kavanaugh  was screaming crying asking back the questions he was  being asked by his  female  interviewer. Asking her if she had a drinking problem Now I been around people who have that kind of drinking problem (and drugs that was Raul brother never used drugs not even a Tylenol only when needed )  like  big brother and they get angry mad just as he did. He even mentioned his wife who  has nothing to do with it because she wasn't at that party not even his child she wasn't born yet.She  was making sad faces behind him. Oh I know she suffers with that kind of man that if things don't go his way he gets mad crazy! and NO! NO! NO! not one day since his birth has he busted his ass doing hard work to get where his at it all came very easy  to him! He do not what hard work is he needs to be poor and be Mexican like me to know what that is.  Now back then there was a soap opera in Spanish called   "Love Has A Women's Face" I remember big brother used to mentioned that  because we women most of us no matter if boyfriend  even more husbands  most of the time will take a lot of shit because we don't want to be alone and I don't blame you its the hardest  thing ever for a woman to do  all the work and no fun  and to find a good man is not easy there are not that many so women like Mrs Kavanaugh will take the abused and remember the kind of comfort shes used to. She will stand by her man and say he is a good husband  and father but we all know his not with that kind of temper  with these kind of men its always the "Heat of the Moment."  He was mad  as hell angry making faces  defending himself  because he was  guilty       much more to come        

  Back  to Cremer Insensitive and doesn't' care if  poor children poor alders eat food have money to pay for their high priced prescription that he make it happened.  

10/8/2018

 October 8, 2018 Yes, I know I make a lot of mistakes on grammar and spelling but maybe this is one of the ways God gets your attention.

10/8/2018

Today October 8, 2018 Happy Indigenous peoples Day!!! Now like many of you I  don't knew my first language I don't know what Native I am. I was born in Southwest Texas  USA I only know my  broken Spanish  language and  only  what I heard growing up. I am still leaning  my  third broken English language . Now I might be Maya I might be Aztec I might be Mestizo. I think I am going with Mestizo I am  thinking  that's what Cesario Duran from Crystal City said  once  he was so I will go with that Mestiza.  Now I remember big brother telling  me Dr Gutierrez would make home visits  to our grandmother Barbara Fernandez. I also remember Mrs Aguilar mother to Jimmy Aguilar telling me she met my grandmother and she was of light skin that means she was more of European than me.     

10/6/2018

October 6,  2018 too much to write later i am going to write on how i don't believe a millionaire said he  applied for  food stamps and got them so easy but right now about how a killer here in Fargo ND   who killed  Savanna  cut her stomach with a box cutter tear her baby that miraculously survived with  only a few pounds had to be hospitalized for weeks if not months.  Henry  William Hoehn and Brook Crews  carried  her out of the apartment took her to a river and Henry H  got away with it in court.  Savanna never had a change to live i know something was put on her mouth to keep her quiet the moment she walked in side their  apartment while screaming to her death not knowing what was next  just feeling the cuts go through her hopeless  body  not knowing if she and her baby were going to live but as she was slowly dying she knew it was the end of her life and she couldn't save herself  and her baby. Now have any of you ever got  cut with a box cutter or  scissors and wanted to scream but you haven't because your mouth was gag?  Big brother in Spanish used to say  The Dead Cant Talk  he would say that in court if the victim is dead there is  a greater  change the killer will get away with it.   

10/5/2018

This morning  October 5, 2018  as i was warming up  the car I  looked to the right side i see  16 and it  repeats. Now about   Brett  Kavanaugh  his lying his way to the Supreme Court but he doesn't  care he  knows his got  Trump on his side. It could be that Ford drank more than one beer  and at the age of 15 this could be the reason  why she doesn't remember where the party house was  but it did happen. Other  people at the drinking party don't want to talk  because now they are parents  they don't want to be known at age 15 16 17 doing such things but i know someone heard and knows what went on at the parties. About Bret  getting his child and wife involved is something else and the way he was answering back to me he is still drank .   A lot more but like always no time  Happy Friday     

9/27/2018

September 27, 2018  Now what Affirmative Action was  for White class women  then now Me Too movement is for  white women today. Now  I do believe what Dr Ford is saying what i don't believed is how can she forget some details about how it all went down? Drinking at the age of 15!? I saw and heard big  brother coming home drunk giving my parents problems something i didn't wanted to become  . I saw others son's his mother would called him the drunken son of the Year that was Mrs Flores son was Hector. Drinking Beer Drinking    Coffee smoking cigarettes back then  for me was for  old people. Now Shes a Doctor and he wants a chair in the Supreme  Court!? Only people with money can do such things and get away with it!! My daughter is 12 years younger then   Ford  I am 12 years older then Ford.             

9/26/2018

September 26,2018 Yes Crazy Satan killer  Brook You were jealous of beautiful Savanna but you had no reason because Savanna i know would have never looked at your child beating now murdered  man!!  She was young and beautiful  ashamed you are Not !! 

September 22, 2018 A lot to write but no time.     

9/20/2018 i am a slow learner or just to much to remember but  today  i remembered  I could go back to the previous post and keep writing so today I  went back to Post 9/ 19/2018 and wrote more about Sylvia and I going to Eagle Pass  to visit the Balboa girls back in the 79s . Now I am lonely and i am alone not one person other than me is experiencing what i am going through. Sometimes i wish someone else was but this is a hard one no clergy or Muhammad and Islam believer would want to  be me. Now later i will go into hygiene  heavy  cosmetics on face what  it meant when i was growing up  as a   Chicana with Chicano brothers around .
Now i don't know what to call myself i used to say i was Mexican American but on radio  i hear  illegals are Mexican American and they are the  migrants. I  thought coming up north to pick tomatoes cucumbers cherries hoe sugar beets to make sugar for people like Trump's family were the migrants i didn't know i had to leave my country to be a migrant!!?? ## 005%. Now about Puerto Rico for some not being 100% USA citizens to me they are because anyone who joyfully joins the military is worthy of being called a U. S. American.   Now About Beto whose was what big brother said we were to call my son because there were too many Luis-is.  Beto  who is running you are too much to the left!!!   

9/19/2018

September 19, 2018 Now i don't remember how or when  in Idaho  Sylvia Davila  and I  met the Balboa family from Eagle Pass , TX who is cousin to the man who was with Sylvia's only full  brother who talked me into going to East Grand Forks the night i was set up but there were two sisters and one day back in the 70s  Sylvia and I went to visited them in Eagle Pass. Now almost everything i write i had in mind for a long time but the story of repeats grows more and more as time goes by. Now  as i read about Steven Gregory Stayer the molester gave him a dog who was named Queenie.  Maricela Balboa i knew by her name
but her little sister i only knew by her nickname  she was called  Queenie.  September 20, 2018    I just renumber I was told I  can go back to post and keep writing! Now back then in the 70s  i didn't know the Crystal City Balboa man who was with Sylvia's brother and reason  I don't remember how   we met Maricela and her little sister Queenie is that we might have met them in Idaho or in Eagle Pass when we took off from there because when migrating to Idaho don't remember if first time or later we stopped at a an office  to picked  up money  for gas food from government or other source  don't know but it was  for transporting to Idaho. Now the day Sylvia invited me to go visited these sisters we stayed over night and we went to the side to a  dance but before that we went to picked up some friends the Balboa's sister knew that's when my drama started . We were in  Piedras  Negras in the home of Balboa's when i told them i wanted to go back to TX i wanted to go back home because it was too poor and i began crying. Nowadays  when  I think about that I  laughed but then  it was  not funny at that time it was real I got a Poor Panic  Attack i just didn't know what it was  I just knew i had to go home i wasn't feeling well . The house we were in was too poor more poor than  ours in Crystal City more poor  than i had ever seen in my entire  life. So i was crying  the poor girls all had to convince me it was OK. Sylvia had lived in Mexico some time in her childhood she went to school there for a short time she  knew how to read in Spanish for me it was the first time going deeper  in  to Mexico i only knew around the shopping  Prian area.   Well i did feel better after a while and we all went  to a dance way out  there somewhere? where  i saw a lot of poor  people but  they were happy  listening  to music dancing and having a real good time and  boys asked me out to dance and i did dance.  When the dance was over i saw buses carrying people  back to their poor villages. The buses were full with people and they  waved their hands good bye out the opened windows to the people on the ground  who  had stayed behind.   Now listen to this back in 2005 when I met Troy he asked me if i wanted to go  to El Roco Lounge  in Grand Forks where i saw the same thing but these were students getting off a yellow school  bus going inside El Roco and I  remembered  Piedras Negras kids and the kids in the yellow school  bus working in the Casselton  summer fields.    
             

8/17/2018

9/17/2018 daughter checked out movies one of them we watched this past Saturday morning was the sad story about little 7 year old boy named  Gregory Stayner. We didn't know he had died September 16, 1989 though i had watched this movie before on TV now it has a different meaning children don't have a voice.      

9/13/2018

Now remember about this address that  for some reason got my attention ? The address here in Fargo, ND is  1551 32nd  street south where you meet with  13 Ave south? Well i needed at least one report from Greeley /Weld Criminal Justice Records and their address is 1551 N 17 Avenue Greeley, Co. Now do you see how 1551 repeats? Not only that at the time of this  report in 4/ 3  / 85  at 1:30 am  i was 28  Raul was 33 years old. Middle school  Superman  educator  once had told me he had lived with his first wife on that same apartment years before he had  met me. I had an older good neighbor  next door  he was also from TX his daughter was also in beauty school  was the one who had a very Mexican sounding  name she didn't like so she asked  to be called Dee. Days went by  then I threw  away all his belonging clothing shoes  working tools  everything i threw them  in  a dumpster.   The old man couldn't believed what  i had done  he felt sorry for Raul but not for me.  Weeks went by one early  morning i was getting ready for school when social services  investigator went by wanted to find evidence Raul had been there. I told  him go  look for him at Island Grove Apartments but before you go check the refrigerator see if there's  any food. Social Services apologized to me but Raul had done enough wrongs  that months after i finished  beauty school we moved back to TX.                

September 13, 2018

September 13, 2018 I was so mad as to what daughter had told me about the pictures of refuges here in Fargo ND  downtown public  library . Today September 13, 2018  i came in and with my own two eyes saw what got her and now got me very mad! A picture of a man in a USA Army  military uniform from Puerto Rico is among the pictures of refugees from other counties  what in insult! i have spoke with many new newcomers  and they say  they will not join the USA  Military that they want to become  doctors and such. who doesn't but for people like me even to get a good  education is hard later more to come. Puerto Rico is USA but not treated like one!! Emilio Oyola  if i were you i would demand  not asked  to get my picture down !!      

September 10, 2018

 September 10, 2018 Now Eva Braun when she killed herself was 33 years of age Hitler was 56.

September 10, 2018

 September 10, 2018  Now the day Burt Reynolds died September 6, 2018  Born February 11, 1936 Johnny Carson Antenna tribute to Burt  had me laughing and remembering some stuff but what repeats ? A LOT!! In 2/12/82  Burt had just turned 46 then i remembered i am laughing at died people talking about people who  are still alive like Dolly Parton when Burt said her breast had a Zip Code of their own. They also  mentioned Richard  Simmons  I remember him  from back then in General Hospital .  There is much more but no time      

9/4/2018

 September 4, 2018 The movie American History X back then I didn't have the time to really sit down to watched and listen  so i just show parts of the movie but what a way to get attention at the basketball  court. 

8/31/2018

August 31, 2018 I been so busy with personal things I needed to get done by today Friday 31, 2018  that I had no time to write down what was on my mind but i also want to say good by to a man i loved  because of  his braveness and kindness  and  what he did for  others that if they didn't go he wouldn't go neither . I don't have the words to express myself I don't know what to say  about John McCain life  only that he was like watching a military hero's movie.   My deepest condolences to his Mother Roberta his  wife and  children and to all who were close to John I know this is hard to pass.  Now excuse me but  here I go  with my repeats. Roberta a twin? Yes to Rowena. 222 and  22  kept coming up for days. 22  Years in the Navy. Pork ?  I need to write how  in Colorado daughter and i got sick after having  pork for dinner  because there was nothing else to eat.  Propaganda a word i remember a teacher  in Crystal City explaining to us what it  meant.  Maverick ? Maverick is the street my two  Fernandez uncles built their second house and father then gave to brother Angel when he married   Yolanda.       

8/27/2018

August 27, 2018 Strange things happening inside the last day at the   Herberger Fargo, ND  store. Two men fighting over  a  woman's dress. Women paying for  bikinis then later  founding out price were down  asking for price  they heard had gone down. Funny thing these people you don't expect to see them in a  bikinis or in a dress.      

8/27/2018

 August 27, 2018  Now the word Bancarrota = Bankruptcy if i am not mistaken  I first heard it when i was a child  in a Spanish love song didn't know what it meant but knew it wasn't a good thing later  I found out  i was right. I  don't remember what year but neighbors   Benavidez family store after a few years joining a cooperation went bankruptcy.  What repeats G.R. Bob Herberger = Bon - Ton is going Nation Wide bankruptcy =  Chapter 11.  

8/21/2018

August 21, 2018 This morning just barley was reading Monday , August 20, 2018 Forum Exclusive interview with Hoehn it read Hoehn breaks silence before his trial in the MURDER  of SAVANNA     LaFontaine - Greywind    i say breaks HIS  silence to tell more lies. Hoehn says he make a mistake  I say NO!  He committed a horrible  crime he killed Savanna! Bull shit! Hoehn knew Crews wasn't    pregnant there is the period that doesn't come there is the change of  body figure the woman gets fat from the stomach and other changes happen.   when asked about dr appointments he declines Hoehn declines on questions he knows will get him in more terrible. Now Hoehn says he only saw Savanna once or twice and couldn't pick her out of a crowd. i say these are all lies! Hoehn would see Savanna but Savanna i bet never noticed the white old man that was about to kill her. Hoehn probably when he would see  her was  he was drooling like a mad dog with rabies but She never noticed Him. Sadly Savanna is not here to defend herself from lies that come out of the mouths that took her life.                            

8/20/2018

Later about respect and manners   now where is Mrs manners we need her back !  

8/20/2018

August 20, 2018 One day  several  years ago two of my grandsons were playing together I don't remember if it was in Grand Forks, ND  or Crystal City but i heard my first grandson say to the second  grandson, "Sorry." The second grandson while rubbing his arm and making a hurting face  said to my first grandson , "sorry nothing." Now Yesterday Sunday August 19, 2018 was Savanna's Greywind death first year anniversary. Savanna  only 22 years of age had everything good going for her she was loved by her parents the father her expecting child her family and friends but there is always  wicked evil  jealous people and two were her upstairs neighbors who for months if not years were  planning  to lured her kidnap her cut her stomach from one side to the other ripped her baby out while she was alive with anger and hate toward  Savanna, Satan  Broke Cruel and her Satan lover and helper  William Henry Hoehn  then viciously wrapped her wounded bleeding body  with plastic  and duct tape threw her on the river side they had 8 whole days to do as they pleased with her and her born baby  because they knew they could get away with as much as they wanted to
do with Savanna!    Now according to what i read Brook  taught Savanna to break her own water bag and induce birth, what a lie!!! According to what i read  Brook wanted a baby  again what a lie she had many babies she wasn't taking care of.!  Brook is sorry really really really sorry tell that to God who  knows your heart and your mind.   For Brook to be really really really sorry it will take many many more years  of true suffering in this life.         

8/17/2018

The reason i bring this up is that  some people might say it never happen but it did  maybe not exactly the way i write it but it happened.  

8/17/2018

August 17, 2018 In 2006 when i went  back to TX I noticed people didn't liked  there too  and were playing with my mind.  Now  because of what I write people  like me less but i still feel i need to write  as much as i can so then i was a child but what  I understood Roy didn't liked about Aretha  was her demeanor  maybe she was acting  Diva.  what repeats  Elvis Presley  died August 16, 77 Aretha August 16, 2018. Chris Watts the mother wife and daughters killer from Colorado Weld County is 33 years old.   

8/14/2018

August 14, 2018  This is for the   16  year old someone  who  pushed you  down a  bridge that way is not your friend.       

8/14/2018

August 14, 2018  Aretha Franklin?  I don't remember  what sister Barbara  and i were doing  one day at the Mc neils  project apartments on East  Uvalde st maybe a someones birthday but  they  were neighbors to  sister Connie they were  one of the few black families in Crystal City but we were listening  to  Aretha Franklin when  Roy Mc neil said he had  gone to see her in concert. This is what i think i remembered   him   saying about her.  He  said he liked her music but noticed or felt   

8/13/2018

August 13, 2018 i have not done with the letter F but today Dorothea Puente who killed and live at F street came into mind

8/13/2018

 August 13, 2018   The beheaded Virgin Mary on 10 Th St North. i remembered that morning driving by  i couldn't register  on my mind what  I had seen but it was real someone had broken her head off.   En Evil act by evil people  This is one of the many ways Evil is within us in the mind body and  hearts the only way out is through  Christ our Lord.  

8/8/2018

August 8, 2018 about snakes I  have a few stories i can write  about  like the times we passed by   Albuquerque,  New Mexico  and got to see the Rattlesnakes  pit in a Gas Station. Now  on July 27, 2018 a python snake was on the loose here in Fargo too but was found on August 4, 2018 if i am not mistaken . 

8/6/2018

 August 6, 2018  Back when the 1969- 1970 school  walk out we were told to chanted Viva Pancho Villa who i only knew from the old moves from Mexico which to me had nothing to do with the walk out . new i knew why we were told to repeat  these words and other we had no one to look up to and its still the same there are no Mexican American Actives doing for me so i don't have a voice is this why many Mexican Americans votes for Trump? The new comers have all the voice from the Democrats. Immigration refugees they all have a voice i feel i don't not  even if  i have  a good case.  

8/4/2018 Now Petra Rodriguez  wasn't too friendly with me she did somethings that really hurt  me     when we were in TX but i still hanged around with her because we  knew each other since the time my uncles had poor houses to rent for poor people like us and her mother did know my parents. when we moved to Greeley Petra was already there with her mother and  one of of her sister  and sometimes  we used to go out to the dances  by then she was living in this nice collage apartment where   Meddle East students  who came with money were stating. now since then i learned a lot about these kind of students who come here to study about not giving to pay back students loans but  for now i am going back to Petra. Now  my big brother used to say that he used to hear the USA is a rich county i would remembered what father would  say about Mexico but brother never lived wealth and i haven't nether. Now Petra  born here in the USA had  not moved here from   Mexico  or the Middle East  told me she had joined  the National Guard to get a job!!??  Now she had a brother named Gregorio Sendejo who had been in the military and still she couldn't  get a job!!!??           


 And what repeats ? Juarez.  What is that I hear a family named Juarez whose mother was here  20 years illegally is mad at this government because she is told to go back to Mexico!? Why didn't her republican husband  who voted for people like  her to be voted out of the country didn't  helped her out long time ago  with such important matter, where is the LOVE !!??   Now shes  saying one of her daughter is too little  to stay here by herself again where is her husband on this matter!!?? To make things worse for her she says  her husband voted for Trump!!??        later more on this

8/2/2018

 8/2/2018 Now back then around 1995 or 2000 something like that don't remember  someone  took me to Asherton, TX to see an  Ostrich farm but before or after that  I never told him about my mother  Ostrich eggs  someone had given to her because I didn't  remembered about it until the fair day here in Fargo. Now i remember both stories and this person had in his record collection this  song  Smooth Operator . The children's vehicle  i used to drive  from school to their homes and other  places here in Fargo also had the Smooth Operator in their vehicle which sometimes i listened to. Now  before I wrote about the eggs I didn't know about Paul Manafort until i saw CBS late show making fun of Manafort  $15,000 Ostrich jacket.

7/31/2018

Remembering  my brother and i watching on TV the movie North By Northwest by scary  film  maker  Hitchcock now i know there are 66 counties in South Dakota 

7/26/2018

when i was looking for an example of the lamp i had in TX that brother threw away and I got upset  i saw the word Globe = Earth which has been on my mind for a long while but first i need to finish the lamp story. Globe also has to do with big brother and  a woman  around my age born  September 14 if I am not mistaken and  Pilo Rivera  were in a program and  who used to come hoe beets with us here in the  North.   

7/26/2018

7/26/2018   Today at the Fargo's  Folk Fair I talked with a woman who  paints  Ostrich eggs and sells them. I told her long time ago someone somewhere gave  my mother a big Ostrich  egg my mother cooked it and we ate it. The woman came from  somewhere in Spain but now lives here in Fargo. 

 Fargo- Moorhead is going backwards in the beginning it was downtown Crazy Days  then came   Walmart, West Acres  Target something like that now its back to Downtown. 

7/26/2018

7/26/2018 "about swimming  it's culture. " No its not! It least not for  poor Mexican American its about being poor no swimming no camping no fishing. 

7/26/2018

7/26/2018 Trump should think twice about what he says to Iran i am sure he doesn't want more refugees coming this way for him or  fr the next president because you know how it is USA Hits then wants to go make it better and what about us ?   

7/26/2018

7/26/2018 My Opinion  What ?  "If it was good enough for Jesus?" Nobody is saying breast feeding is wrong! Human race started living by  breast feeding and about Virgin  Mary breast feeding I am sure she and other women  in the Middle  East  were not showing off their nipples in  public or where almost  very closed to nudity in   swimming   pools. What i am saying is cover yourself put a cloth or something so children will continue as much as they can  with their little innocence   and nasty men won't get sexually erect.   Today you can put your breast  milk in a bottle  but i guess if you want people to see your breast than you are going to keep taking out  your breast in public for anyone to see because you want to feel sexy, 

7/25/2018

7/25/2018 I didn't know and still don't know about  the River City Church only what i am hearing  right now on the news but when it  opened in  downtown this church  for some reason caught my attention now i know why. Now did husband pastor Moser  knew he was being taped  while having Sex with his child  molester wife sure he did  it doesn't  take long when you live together even when just dating  to know how your other half  Thinks. Now see  one  of many ways  the Devil  gets to us if we allowed it and its  scary. Now back to Potbelly antique Yellow or Amber   handing light   lamp. After looking for the lamp  and couldn't find it i asked my brother if he knew what had happened to it he said he threw it away because he cut himself when he was holing it. i k   

7/24/2018

7/24/2018 Yesterday someone close to me asked me why i always speak  of  the  past i could have answered because everything in the present relates to my past. i don't know what year it was it might have been 2005 that outside my parents home i had a yellow glass hanging lamp looked a lot like the one i see at Potbelly sandwich shop at 4445 17th avenue south. one day i couldn't  find it it was because my big brother had thrown it away     later more on this and the Mango in

7/21/2018

7/21/2018 Now when i used back when Command sent me to work with the other Holiday with Mary doing laundry Mary would give us a paid lunch if our two breaks were not taken . 

7/19/2018

Now daughter was telling me about the song " have you seen her " she thought it was sad i told her Alone Again Nationally" was even more sadder. for months i was thinking the time Sylvia Teran had lose her father. My father and her father were friends Mr Teran went first so  father went to visited his family when  Mr. Teran  died. One day at school the song was playing  Sylvia said she liked the song  by then i still had my father but i liked it too. now months ago i was thinking the day two big brothers were talking about the what happen to the Saddle that uncles had at Chambers street later we went out to Texas Roadhouse.   

7/19/2018

Now today was a hard day like most of my days Heartland Labor sent me to work at the Holiday Inn at 3803 13 avenue south Fargo, North i go because I have to work like everyone else but there's men  men and women employers who are really to be on my back for any little thing i say or do and they used the other people who are employed  there through the company. i am giving no brakes at 12:00 am food is brought in for employees but not for me. if i take 30 off for lunch a white Anglo man is ready to take it off but first an African woman who i don't understand because her English is worst than mine is telling me i have to keep working until 1:00 pm i say to her no way there will be no fresh  food felt  over. Now when i work i work i don't graded my feet I am not on my phone ot have phone on attached to my ear and i don't chew gum and i don't wash my feet on the motel sinks and i don't take time off to pray i pray in my mind since God is so powerful He can hear my thoughts. well today because of what i told this woman 30 minutes were taken off. The white Anglo short  man who like many hates me came over  to a room i was working asked me how things were going i told him they were going. i knew since morning when he and the other female employer were talking about me but not to me they were going to give me trouble but what can i do just complained to God. I think i wrestle with God even though i never win more than Jacob ever did because i have more to complained than he had.  Like I  said before refugees have it much better than i will ever have it here in this poor USA. now Heartland gave me a card for tomorrow but if tomorrow comes i am just not  going down to eat this Anglo man and the rest can have it call where it can fit in i don't want to get sick because now i am thinking he or someone else might put something on the food and make my stomach sick. this is just one short story i have many as for how unfair i am treated everywhere i go.                              

7/16/2018

Today 7/16/2018

This is what i think about Charles Manson he make nobody do Jake what these women did they did it because they wanted to do it. They liked the wild life sex drugs even if they had good fathers they wanted to have fun  and if they came from neglected parents for more reasons they wanted to belong  in some of cult but nobody makes   someone else unless 

7/13/2018

 Today 7/13/2018  Now more on this wanna be German PaPa Johns but for me looks more like a Mexican border patrol would get confused too.  He is 56 years old. He doesn't like the color God gave to African Americans! ?  

7/13/2018

Today 7/13/2018 now who is Papa Johns? I had he was a Mexican like me he looks so dark skin short square body  with a cactus on his forehead!!  to me he can pass as a real Mexican from Mexico i really thought he was Mexican like many Mexicans trying hared to look good with the white Angles! i read a bit about him he says his German now funny thing i been thinking about when the second time I was asked  to go to the  VA Hospital in San Antonio  with Carl Mc and his  second new wife who was German but she really looked German not like Pa Pa Johns! Now Carl 's father also named John are  half Mexican but  John and Carl to me are way more light skin than John H. Schnatter born 11- 22- 1961 which 2 is a number i saw just yesterday that repeats here in Moorhead  street on  222 16 South. and i think it was yesterday on my remolding  McDonald ticket number was 222. i still have ticket will look it up to make sure what day it was.            

7/13/2018

Today  7/13/2018 i watched the sad ending of a little girl named Sandra Cantu and yes the late name Cantu repeats but for now i will write as much as i can about why  i know  Trailer  Park white woman name Melissa kidnapped  raped  killed this little  sinless beautiful  girl named Sandra Cantu on March 29, 2009  . Melissa Huckaby occurring to people around her was a good  christian church teacher a good Gentle mother even a good neighbor who Mexicans Americans i could say loved her and trusted her with their children.  this woman was jealous hated this little girl because she was Mexican and beautiful had a family who loved her. This woman went inside God's house to be loved by the people looked up by people  but had the Devil inside her deep inside her anyone can see it in her eyes if you just look close enough. in this world we have a lot of people who go inside their  church but have the Devil inside their souls minds and hearts. Now i read information on a blog that used the word Chew. I came into the library chewing a gum. the Devil Melissa thought she could get away and was going to repeat her devil act because she is white. God make her what I called  Anglo White the little girl was  Mexican white God made her that way . This white Devil used a Rolling Pin she found at church to rape the little girl how much hateful can you get!?  Rolling Pin what do Mexicans use to make  homemade tortillas?  Melissa  worry now shroud be will she be meeting her friend the Devil or will she repent?      

7/12/2018

Today 7/12/2018 A lot to write but for now i will  write my opinion on  these two stories.  Now there are a lot of  women who do get raped some report their rapers some don't but also there are women like Victoria Richman who want to get a  man no matter what and  they also want the attention and sympathy of others so they try heard to get themselves in a situation to look as if they are the victims instated of running  away they go looking for action poor men who believes they are just going to get sex. In Spanish there is a saying "what man if given  or is offered free  bread doesn't go for it" if a woman just by  talking pretending  to be a child taking like a little girl when shes a full grown woman  whose been around  and is hot in the  pussy shes going to sent out  pictures of her breast?  Now after going by his apartment asking why are you naked  now  William C telling her go away she wants to get in his apartment  when shes not welcome.  William Carter should have done what the first William did just stay away from  her but he didn't. Now about the other full grown bleach blond woman  from TX Darlie Routier who  also wants to talk like a child to me   she did killed her two boys i don't know but was there in  insurance?           

7/8/2018

Today 7/9/2018 Saturday morning i went by the Unica Mexican store a woman walks  in and says " Huele Rico" ="Smells Rich." Later  i read for the first time   Wikipedia on Folgers  rich is one of the many words I see here are   others . Crystals Olson Howard 101  James Abigail and i do remember who ran inside the house  with the Folgers can. Now trash would be burned or buried don't renumber but for a while it was set somewhere in the small forest closed to the outside  wood bathrooms and there is where I remember seeing a Folgers can.      

7/7/2018

7/7/2018 Other things i had in mind for a long time that repeat  about the time sister Barbara was learning how to make jell-o  then i hear a politician saying the word  Jell-o. Barbara never make that jell -o she just couldn't understand how hot water and cold water would make the delicious  cold Jell-o  dessert. I guess she forgot  it still had to set inside the  refrigerator. Jiffy popcorn was another Barbara told father she wanted to try father brought her Jiffy popcorn Barbara burner was on high  jiffy popcorn got burned then Barbara tired to save it by taking off the foil which make the popcorn pop all other the kitchen now i couldn't help her she is older than me. These stories make me laughed.   

7/7/2018

7/7/2018 Growing up fresh  homemade tortillas beacon and eggs and the aroma of Folgers coffee would wake me up. now as i looked into the Folgers story that takes me to the Charles Manson murders I see a lot of repeats. I still need  to write about my childhood days and how a  Folgers can full of dirt somehow got inside the farmers tidy  home and on her shaggy carpet.  I believed was an off white color maybe ivory or beige don't remember was too young to know.      

7/7/2018

7/7/2018   Now because I don't write doesn't mean  i have no material to write i have lots if material i just don't have the time now the Fargo library is not  open on Sundays  . Now about coffee growing up Folgers coffee was always in my house but for me only old people drank  coffee never did i thought coffee was and would be a bigger deal because even people i knew around my age  didn't drink coffee  


 Did i hear the word Stutter? Stuttering is a word for the longest i had in mind Hector Juarez and others i know stutter. later more on these people who stutter.   

7/7/2018

 7/7/2018 This morning as I watched and walked around   Farmers Market  at West Acres Mall on  13 Avenue south  and 42 Street bitter sweet thoughts came to me about my fathers Garden's the time he tried to sell what he had carefully  with love  had planted and what an ignored  Mexican man back home   told  him  why he wouldn't  buy my fathers harvest. The man told my father that he would only buy from the store because the foods there were chemically sprayed and his wasn't. My  Father was so sad  when he told me and at that  time I didn't  know how to consulted him  I was just   in  junior high didn't know what i know now about organics foods.  This morning like other Saturdays at farmers market colorful vegetates and even homemade jams and barbecue sauces  looked very good to me and I hear food stamps  are welcome on most foods.        

7/3/2018

July 3, 2018 it could have been May 2018 or June 2018 but i was bored and I know almost everywhere i go most of  what I see somehow  in some way repeats . I went through movies that don't belong to me I  picked " The Other Man." This movie maybe I had seen  before but don't remembered not sure anyway here in Moorhead, MN  library since January 2018 some people come in to play  Chess on Tuesdays other things also repeat.    

7/2/2018

Today July 2, 2018 I heard a woman who meant well but i did not believed  the words Free Will that we have Free Will but I really don't think I have Free Will because I prayed for a better life and less suffering less loneliness. What I mean my life is not this way because I make it happened  it was just given to me like or not this is the way it is.        

6/21/2018

June 21, 2018  Now not all migrating  summers were the same  some summers we migrated alone other summers we  had company and  travel to other states but for sure we always came to  North Dakota.  This is what  little I remembered when we migrated from Crystal City, TX  to the state of  Idaho. Now we never owned  a gun so we never carried a gun on the road because my father didn't allowed it  but when (Mr Eusevio Davila and his family who we knew very well because when we lived at Chambers St Mr Davila and family  were one of our  uncles tenant) travel with us to Idaho he asked my brother if he had a gun brother said no we never carried a gun we just don't have one. Mr  Davila had one and he knew how to use it  had learned from the very best  the Armed Forces but at that time i didn't know he had been  in the military.  Davila told brother it was for protraction  in case it was needed.  Time went by and as we know we get old and we get sick our life's changed. One day Sylvia Davila asked me if I would go with her and her father to San Antonio to the VA Hospital. i said i would  go so Sylvia drove us to the Audie Murphy VA Hospital in a pick up track her father showing her the way.  Now get this today i told daughter what was on my mind she tells me that's where  Angie my friend from Del Rio works!  I told her I thought she was still in Dallas she says no shes  been working at the VA hospital in San Antonio. 

6/21/2018

Today June 21, 2018 remembering  back in 70s  the first time  someone asked me to go with them to the Audie Murphy Memorial VA  Hospital in San Antonio.

6/20/2018

Today June 20, 2018 

Listening to the song by  Tom Petty You Don't Have To Live like A Refugee
 I say  to that and what is so bad about living like a refugee here in the USA?

Nothing not a thing is bad because if I were a refugee came with money more money was given to me for being a refugee.  I would get  free English language classes and nobody would make fun of my accent. I would apply  for a job and get hired  get paid well because places like Walmart get some kind of money  deal from the government for hiring me and  employers  would treated me very good and if I wanted to start a business like a beauty shop  or sell cars I would get a government  loan and didn't have to  pay it back.     



I do feel sad for people trying to get here  because their government don't give a Jack about how they live but not all come poor and hungry many are better than poor people who live here all their lives.  I am sure more and more will be  coming with small children because this is how they know they will get the  attention they need to  become a  USA citizen. Now I care about them  but I care deeply more  and can't do Jack about looking at my 4th generation grandchildren living poor in run down  public housing  reasons its been  so hard to get ahead coming from generations that have been  suppressed through years in  Schools Jobs and Public Services.  

6/16/2018

6/16/2018 About the F- M  Turnarounds and Fathers Day .  Now i don't know if sister Barbara  was madly in love when she eloped with Salines but I remember  we were still in Idaho when  she got a letter from who I believed was the mother of a nice and smart  young man I liked a lot for brother in law. I don't know what the letter said but I saw her get mad so i  told Barbara don't  do something   later you will regret. When we  moved on to ND Barbara stayed behind Fathers weekend father got a post card from this young man the card had the face  of a horse on the front big  brother told father we have to tell him Barbara got married stayed in Idaho           In Crystal City  on Hwy 83 there was a road  a turnaround  this young man would take us drive us around for me its was lots of fun never thought about the danger  

6/16/2018

 6/16/2018 Now back in 1975 I never told my parents or anyone else why I moved to the Valley with sister Barbara. Before  this ordeal i am going through  I thought I would just  keep it my secret and the only person I thought would have had in idea why i moved  would have been  Petra Rodriquez. Later years we hanged out I could have brought it up  blamed her but I  never did  i am glad because now i know all these was meant to be. I think it was the month of November  1975 that my father and I were in the living room when I  asked him  I  wanted to go live with sister  Barbara continue my education in the Valley . I didn't know what father  was going to say but he made it very easy for me by saying if this is what i  wanted  I could  go stay with her. He didn't tell me at first what he had in mind but mother also went with me  stayed until December . 1976 came and by March  Fathers health   started getting  worse and once I knew he was ill I would take the Greyhound bus back to Crystal City. I  travel  so much that one day the bus driver who was an older slim white Anglo  man said  to me, "if I were younger by now I would have married you." I haven't noticed now  but back then bus drivers  wore  a  hat and uniform helped people off the bus by holding your hand  reminding people about the stairs.               

6/15/2018

6/15/2018

In this world there is a lot of different ways of Child abused because children don't have a voice if reported to child protracted agencies they say nothing is wrong all is good so where do these children get any kind of help? Nowhere.   

6/13/2018

 You know i seem a lot of child abused at apple bees at the Tree dollar store and other places and even inside homes so this is something to think about. Now too many questions about how Darlie was acting after her two sons death. What a coincidence she and boys that night were downstairs. police says there were no evidence of footprints coming in going out. shes not worried man will come back get her other child and why did man go for the boys first? why would anybody wan to killed children? she is laughing chewing gum as if nothing horrible just happening to her two boys?!    Now was there a life insurance for the boys? were three boys too much for her?  

6/9/2018

a lot repeats with Kate, S Street 77

6/9/2018

Brother had dark skin but had brownish green eyes = hazel . Now there is a word  Hazel in Spanish I just don't know how to spell it and Google doesn't understand me gives me something else but some  people are called by this name when they have hazel eyes. The other word i need help with is Davila's  nickname.  Now one summer  big brother asked Gloria Astran Arthur and her parents  to come work with us. Gloria has a brother I heard by others  nicknamed Rat.    

6/9/2018

June 9, 2018 When I write about a story its because its been on my mind for a long time. i know it doesn't pay my bills it just explains how the world revolved  around me but as i go other things also repeat.  Now one  morning  we were  working at a  field in Idaho when I heard Sylvia's father  called my  big brother Cat.  I asked Mr. Davila who also had a nickname. Why was Luis Jr called Cat. Mr. Davila asked me, "have you ever seen the eyes of a cat in the dark?"

6/8/2018

i was just thinking about  back in the late 60s at the Farm there were a man nick named Cat the other Rat. 

6/8/2018

Now what a mother Kate S was  in leaving a letter to a 13 year old child telling her to ask her father why she took her life. i read one of her interview where Kate talked about her daughter as if daughter was a grown up not a child her daughter. Suicide is Mental illness but how much in a person i say in some people its also hate  anger in the heart because they don't have it their way. some even take others with them before they go.

    

6/8/2018

Today June 8, 2018 I had an uncle named Fidel Fernandez I was told  killed himself way before my time. life isn't easy for me  I had and have it  harder now and   I know many others do too but I have it to the max because there are strange things happening to me and I have nobody to talk with there is no church Body of Christ if this is from Him. But no matter how hard  it gets  I would never take my life because I think if God has it hard for me here how much harder will He have it for me if I give up. I do fear the Lord.   

6/7/2018

June 7, 2018 Now on Cecilia JR 15th birthday kids  changed clothes put on  red shirts and black shorts they danced in line to Fuego song. Now Fire in Spanish has two words that i know of.  Fuego + Lumbre= Fire. Growing up Lumbre was the word I heard others use, so this is the word I use more - Lumbre.

6/6/2018

Today   6/6/2018 late afternoon  conversation with daughter about  who chooses men or women. I say most of the time its men who is the one who takes what he wants not the woman and I have a lot of whys  this is true. If a young woman lives in a small town there are less changes shes going to find what she wants she's just going to have to settle especially if shes at a certain age and education is also a factor. The older you get the more picky  you get by then less available  men are around  to pick from and remember men are the ones most of the time who need  to open up to a conservation that will lead to dating to get to know each other. Women most of the time can not start this because don't know if man is gay married or has a girlfriend. Sure women have the final but what about if there are no finals to pick from? it is said that there are more women than men and the other when a man loves a woman he wants that woman this is even written in the Bible stories about what men worked free to get what they wanted so yes its up to the man not to the woman.     

6/5/2018

Tuesday , June 5, 2018 Again ! I am fed up "with look who's talking Donald T who chicken out more than 5 times to defend his country his flag and said he only liked soldiers who don't  get caught.Now his making a big deal over the N F L players who are trying to get attention that USA is not what it sings out to be. Now if you say "if I don't like it you. I say back  like the real American Natives I have blood in  and I been here since God put me here i didn't come from  across no oceans ! If you don't like what I say  go complains  to Him not me!  Now on other  issues the USA  government has I understand we can not adapted everyone who wants to come here if the  USA government can not feed his own children how can it feed others!? A parent can not  and should not just come  to this country dropped his child then  say he is suing because they are apart they want to be together!  What do they want a House to live in and  money?  Well so do I ! I want to house money too even if its only for a short time! But who is to blamed ? Their bad government worst than ours. 

Back in TX for many people who had worked hard I mean hard work in the fields sun in sun out come rain come wind come snakes  not inside a nice  air conditioning  building.  Bought Not given  a  little bit of land with an old house some  roofs made out of tin cans very soon  what they owned  at Chambers St and around was taken away to make a  park.        

6/4/2018

Since Friday of last week on and off  been asking daughter if she remembered i think it was 2004  Cecilia S. Cervantes  Quienceanera = 15 birthday party in the valley. I asked because for days i had in mind the song Cecelia JR  Barbara granddaughter and the 14 couples dance to the song  by Kumbla Kings Fuego.   Friday and Saturday i had listened to that song played on You tube. This morning or yesterday I  heard about Guatemala Volcano named Fuego. Now i also had in mind an Anglo elementary  teacher i worked with. She told me she had gone  to Guatemala after the 1976 earthquake  as teacher or helping in some way don't remember but she was extremely good with children she seen to care  about the poor Mexican Americans students. One day her plan was to take all children class by class to the HEB store introduce them to different kinds of fruits and told children to  feel  and smell the fruits. We bought some fruits took them back to school  we make fruit salad and ate some.

6/2/2018

The only way i could believed and that's a maybe that after 30 years Roseanne show were still poor  all living the same house with the same sofa is that they were mentally ill or in and out of jail or plain lazy something like that but if they were working doing a bit of ease schooling trying a bit . No way after 30 years no matter what presidents comes and goes they would be out enjoying the lakes like many . White Anglo's if they want to they can get ahead not head for them but  super head for me because i have no good head start.  M any summers before i would think where are the white people well now i know they were in the lakes!   

5/31/2018

Now back then not all was good  like today the Devil was always around.  Now what Samantha Bee  said was not right but what  Roseanne said was worse.

Don't have much time but i saw a bit of Roseanne show didn't liked it because its not realistic when it comes to white Anglo's in this USA but it is real for poor Mexicans and blacks who don't drink do   drugs  some are even educated  work heard and still get nowhere in life. I know its a fact if you are white Anglo yes you can get ahead if you want to  just being white anywhere you go you have a good head start even if you go to Mexico you still get ahead.  

5/31/2018

 A lot  repeats now back when i was a  child  some evenings other children and i were  invited to go to a house to see Samantha = bewitched on TV. The man and his wife  who lived at that home had  boxes full of bees. One day man gave us  honeycombed  to eat it had holes. They also had a  tall tree borne yellow or white berries that looked like blackberries we used to eat those too.   

5/31/2018

Today May 31, 2018  let me see how much i can put in for today. i have learned a lot of words. New ones sometimes  I need to look  up  their meanings. Thank God for the computer and the almost know it all internet but then again God Knew i was going to need them this is why He had others hurrying it up for me!
Now here is another one i learned today John H needs to remembered  too. Start reading on Romans 2 : all the way keep going pass verse 21 where it says,  you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? 22 You who say that one must not commit adultery , do you commit adultery? John H keep reading to remember you dropped Martha and there is a Hell. You  like all of us do need Christ . 

5/31/2018

Today what have I learned and what repeats ? Adulterer and his other sins  John Hagee  False Teaching should read 2 John 9-11.       

5/30/2018

Its very hard for me to remember exactly the years  which things  happened because its too much to remember. Maybe if i had more time to write i would remembered more but I don't. That day i was driving from south to north on the last or second last street in Mejico Chico when i saw a  log tree outside a small poor old  home. I  wanted to know who was craving it because it resemble the one i had seen in Colorado. So i stopped  to asked and as i was walking towards the door a man was coming out i asked him about the log he was one of the  Pesina's was c   

5/29/2018

5/29/2018

May 29, 2018  Now in Crystal City we have  El Mejico Chico  little Mexico. Here in Dilworth, MN we have Little Italy. someone i know told me Fr Bob  is Italian.          Now one day maybe in the nineties I was driving by El Mejico Chico

5/29/2018

May 29, 2018 all I can say is too much  to catch up to. The summer of 1979 Raul took me to Love land, CO. We went to a lake back then not much to see but near the lake was a Anglo man carving Indian art on a log tree. I looked into loveland  sculpture park  pictures didn't know it existed and maybe I was at the wrong park but was disappointed because I didn't see the finished of his work . Now here in Fargo on Main Ave someone is showing off their talent by craving wood. But let me go back to Crystal City after returning from  living in Colorado.       

5/26/2018

Hello, readers like always a lot to write but not enough time. Now I came  to library thinking what I wanted to write about but then I go through the internet and  more information  comes up to me that i can relate to. Now I was thinking what my daughter now that she leaned more about La Guadalupe means to her is more of a Culture thing.  Yesterday I wrote a bit about what i think of what Nancy Grace thinks its OK to have a 20 year old  male friend with a 13 year old girl in a bedroom watching  TV.  Same thing daughters friend was doing  later got pregnant. More on this  later on. Then i looked into Cultural  = Cultural music which in TX is Delia Gonzalez y Cultural looked into some of her earlier music read a bit about her story.  Time ago heard she needed a kidney and got one from a friend. more on these  but  for now i need to write about Mazz . Mazz i heard was in prison  for doing wrong to his             

5/25/2018

 Now old friendship = Wine 

When my children were small and we were out and about  I wasn't thinking the Walmart cameras and people around me were taking care of my children were babysitting my children while i shopping. I kept a very closed eye on them!     

About May 23, 2014 on this one Nancy Grace is wrong again  who was 13 year old daughter of Will Smith  has no idea about what a 20 year old man  is thinking about her . Later i will write about a mother i told her daughter had a boy in her bedroom mother what she told me later her daughter got pregnant at age 13 or 14 just a child but mother was thinking like you Nancy! 

5/25/2018

Now Google or European Union laws wants me to know about some Cookies in their internet. Sorry no time the only Cookies i know are the ones i eat  and been getting too fat and sometimes can't pronounce.

Now to more serious events about what Nancy Grace said to Dr Oz about being tired people blaming mother's for their children abused and many times killed by their boyfriend strangers even husbands i disagreed 100% percent! Most mothers should  be blamed and hold accountable but not only by mouth! Who takes in a stranger to his or her children! Sometimes even if you think you know a person you don't but the more you know the person you know his or he limits their way of thinking just by the words they use  !  In the Bible there is a saying friendship is like Wine the older it gets the better it tastes.           

5/22/2018

At Santa Fe TX  high school 2018  Someone is not saying the truth. Mother of victim Rodriguez says shooter was after her daughter but she said No in front of others. Rodriguez was the first one to be shot I believed  mother Rodriguez.   

5/22/2018

Almost everything around me repeats too much to catch up to but just today I got a  phone call regarding a letter i had sent out dated May 4, 2018 I  had  completely forgotten what day that was until I noticed the date.

In the documentary of Columbine 1999  i saw a couple  who knew them saying the two student shooters were bullied at school.  I see it different  the two shooters were not bullied at school they were the bullies just look at who they shot first. If they were victims neglected whatever it was someplace else but not at school.      

5/21/2018

Later much more to write but for now no time.  

5/21/2018

Now I don't go around looking for things I can write about that repeat they just appeared  everywhere I go. I  hear them on TV radio  a few I dreamed.
Elizabeth at age 11 dead was born May 4, 2007 died May 12, 2018 . No DNA but I believed Elizabeth  is half sister to my granddaughter who was born May 4, 2017. Mother to both children is full blooded Dakota Sioux.     
The car now I am driving is a 2007.

5/20/2018

What is next? A  picture of Jesus with guns?   

5/20/2018

 If Jesus is God and God is Jesus Do not put God+Jesus in front of your guns !!  

5/18/2018

May 18, 2018 Now Ttrwnp  Trwnap  whatever your name is if  you say I am  an animal than so are you! Your faulty  mouth is saying  God only make animals no humans!? Read the Bible learn who Jesus is !! Mexican presidents you need to help your country help your people!              

5/17/2018

I am sorry to say yesterday on internet I misread  11 year old will be buried tomorrow not today.    

5/17/2018

Today May 17,2018 is  sad day for two special persons I know and love who lost a loved one who will be buried at the age of 11. next  runabouts 

5/12/2018

What are the new words going around? Impeach the FORTY-FIFTH?   

5/6/2018

Today May 6, 2018  On April 30, 2018 First its like this i am always thinking my mind  always comes up with something  nowadays even more. Lately i been  thinking about berries. Growing up  mother used to tell me not to think too much or i would go crazy but i think thinking keeps  me sane.  Daughter texted  me The Cross And The Lynching by James H. Cone who just passed way this past month. I texted her, before I can put Blacks lynching I first need to put Natives lynchings. Not that i don't know Mexicans lynching.  This week on radio I hear Teresa  Mailhot talked about her book Heart Berries but before that i watched a cheerleaders telling the whole world she is a virgin. Cherries, one Junior high  picture day there was a new white girl in town or maybe she wasn't new  I just didn't know her but she and other boys were talking about something i was way too green to know would take me many years later was when a girl loses her virginity the cheery pops. Now i love cherries i don't like to compared that to cherries           

5/1/2018

Today May 1, 2018 what repeats or flashbacks what i first used to call them? i opened my Email i read What's At The Zoo? i see a picture of a Turtle. One day  when i had my mobile home  parked at what was my grandfather's lot now is my uncle Antonio Pena lot as i was driving from south to north heading  home when i see a big Turtle. I don't know too much about turtles so today I looked for pictures. The one that came close to the one i saw that day is a Common Snapping Turtle. That day was clear the  heavy rainy days were over the bright sun was out and it was humid and  hot. As i looked at the turtle crossing the street from Hernandez  home to where Juan Jose Fuentes parents house is i felt so sorry for that turtle because it looked lost. i didn't know who to call for help.

4/27/2018

today like all my others days too much in mind not enough time to write. I had in mind about the time  when Juan Lara and his wife came to visited us while we were working on a field . my father was so excited to see from far away his beloved nephew driving fast on road to get to us.  I think  road is 16457 36 St SE. Now i remember we were all talking when Juan took out a roll of Certs . Yesterday i looked it up because i haven't seen  certs on stores. i read it was  first introduce in 1956 and the saying  "its  two two, two mints in one."  i am also  writing  about these because  this week i was watching Seinfeld about a man with bad breath the Tic Tac came up. now i can go back to beauty school when we were told not to chew gum but to use Tic Tac s.  i will tell you why my father and mother loved Juan so much not only Juan was their nephew but he was like a son for about 4 years my parents  couldn't conceived  so they took Juan with them almost everywhere.                 

4/25/2018

Who is at fault with DACA  called Dreamers ? Who benefited who benefits from illegals ? = USA government? Farmers? U S A Employment offices? USA school employers ? USA motels hotels USA mothers who needed or needs a cheap babysitters?  I can go on and on.  Here are illegal  children now grown and educated of illegal parents saying, "we belong here."       

4/23/2018

 Today 4/23/2018 what repeats? About a week ago I  was somewhere close by a business here in Fargo  outside was  a  red sign  with name Davila. Years ago i saw a business in San Antonio also named Davila. Today I was searching  for it on internet didn't find it but i found this Band from Puerto Rico named Davila 666 listened  to some songs  like "Esa Nena Nunca Regreso"   Today i was at 1616 43 rd NW Forgo i think i also saw  1212 on same street.

4/22/2018

Earth Day Flag Green with E O= Environment Organism 

4/22/2018

Today April 22, 2018 Now i know why the twos kept coming up again and again . Today is Earth Day i had heard about but didn't know much about it until  now through news and  internet i now  know  more. What repeats? Earth Day founded by  Gaylord Nelson on April 22, 1970.

4/19/2018

Tomorrow 4/19/2018 i hope i get to write whats been in my mind for a long time about how this and much more is connected  to me in one way or another. James Garner, Rockford Files Angel  Maverick , Garner State Park . LBJ Franklin D. Roosevelt and more     

4/18/2018

Today 4/18/18 how many USA presidents  are still alive? 1 Jimmy Carter 2George Bush Jr 3George H. W. Bush Sr 4Bill Clinton 5 Barack Obama = 5 + Donald Trump= 6    

4/17/2018

Today April 17, 2018 Good By to Mrs Barbara Bush and condolences to her family. 

I have no idea why with so much in mind to write but no time i had David Koresh on mind?     

4/16/2018

Coffee anybody? Yes i do have stories about coffee all the way to when i was a child here in the Farm  its   been on my mind but haven't had time to write.  Discriminated here in F=M? Yes to that too in a Mexican restaurant by a Angle white waitress who put a socked lemon  on my tea . Other places its been more of  mind games liked when i ordered turkey but  i was given tuna.          

Brotherly loved State had a coffee incident? Because i really don't want problems with the law or anybody else because i know i am going to loss and  i know i am Mex Am with brown  skin color i always  try to think how i am going to be seen if i just walked in sit and not order or explained why i am just sitting inside a restaurant without ordering.   

4/15/2018

rich man who you really wan to be poor i will give you my life you give me your !!

4/15/2018

if i do that lie because of the way i look my color of skin the way i talk 

4?15/2018

Today like always a lot to write but  short on  time. Now back to when sister asked father for a drink this might have been in Junior High not high school because i think we were still living at  the old neighborhood. Now about Barbara always craving daughter is a bit like her. one day  i believed  the nineties both were talking about that Barbara says to daughter well we craved because we never have  daughter  says exactly! Both found  they understood why they craved.

Now about the Billionaire who went to asked for food stamps. i am sure he already had the connection             

4/12/2018

Now back to serious issues like do you Now Trump trying to divert attention to Syria for us to forget about  now older woman Sex Stormy and FBI looking into your dirty big secrets ? Boy, you do have  reasons to cross your hands. This is my opinion about Syria why doesn't the closer surrounding countries don't go help Syria people? Why does it have to be us first why doesn't to name a few Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Iran go in first? Syria doesn't need our help we are too far. If we go in all these small countries will point the finger at us and say this is your fault. You! USA now take us now we are your children. Now  i noticed people from  Middle East and elsewhere can speak well English  and can write. My parents never could and  I am still learning (later i will explain why)  Is this their  strategy to educate people to than make war make them run for the borders?  Maria says to USA         

4/12/2018

Today back to the first day working at the McAllen Mall when someone told Barbara about me just   standing with my hands crossed. Well yeah  it was my first week  I didn't have any experience working with people I was  too shy. God had to break   me a lot before I would get to where i am right now. This is what i noticed about Trump he doesn't know what to say or do his just with his hands crossed. Later why i was so shy and why i had a good reason for being so shy. 

Now something to laugh about: My wonderful goodhearted  father  used to baby us (Barbara and I)  as much as he could. One night  while already in bed sister  told me, "just watched me I am going to ask Dad for a glass of water and he will get up and bring it to me." So sister asked father and father  got up got  her a glass of water.  Freshman year first high school year for sister Barbara.  Sister first  year learned what most white Anglo's had for lunch  was a Ham and cheese .  Now Barbara was always craving somethings to eat so one day she asked father, 'do you know what i feel like eating"?   Sister told father a  Ham and Cheese sandwich.  Now there are days  when daughter and I remembered sister and the Ham and Cheese.  Daughter and I had seen Malcolm X movie but now daughter  bought it.  Every time we watched the part where X is a waiter  in the train and  white man asked X for a Ham and Cheese sandwich  we can't stop laughing.